Call Me Nico
by CheckeredShirts
Summary: Nicola never felt comfortable in her body, it was as though she were wearing a strangers body rather than her own. Taking measures into her own hands she acts upon the desire to reinvent herself in the male image she knows is right for her.


**To clarify, Nico is biologically female in this story but wishes to be, and considered, male.**

* * *

Nicola stared angrily down at her bare body, repulsed with each curve her eyes met. She crossed her legs against the revulsion she harbored and squinted her eyes further,her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. She almost believed that if she wished hard enough everything would change. Everything would be as it was meant to.

With a prolonged sigh, Nicola uncrossed her legs and hurriedly pulled on her clothing. The baggy jumper slipped over her figure, effectively hiding her upper torso and for this she was grateful. The material hung loose over her feminine frame, as did the black jeans that were soon dragged upwards. She wiggled her fingertips and toes before throwing her arms out beside her and all but growling at her mirror image before her. She still wasn't normal.

'Nico!' she whined, repeating the name several times over before throwing herself backwards, collapsing onto the bed with a sudden sinking feeling tight in her chest. Her mane of dark hair fell into her eyes and she hated that too. She despised the locks. The tight bubble in her chest rose rapidly to the surface, until it popped into an angry residue that leaked into her lungs. Nicola dabbed at her eyes and took a steady breath to calm her frantic heart.

With a sudden determination and air of clarity that brought the air to her lungs, Nicola sprung from the bed and raced to her bed stand and to the scissors that awaited her hands. With a quivering grip she snatched up the pair of scissors to finish the deed.

Nicola began to snip away her fringe. But with each strand that fell to the floor her heart grew heavier until she began to chop and hack at her hair in a wild frenzy of panic. With each clump that fell she grew more desperate to be perfect, her chest heaved with the emotions and her head ached from the dull of the blade. Her fingers grew warm and numb from the countless nicks of the blades. Her fingers accidentally sliced in a moment of sheer panic.

Nicola knew she had to get rid of the mess on her head; she couldn't stand the ugly sight.

'I hate you!' she hissed, her movements become alarmingly erratic and jerky as the anger increased tenfold .

The jumper sleeve caught the blade.

The blade was halted from its destructive path and momentarily trapped against the fibers. And Nicola roared as she wept. Her shame rolled over her in waves as she stared with bleary eyes at the scissors hanging dangerously open from her sleeve. Cautiously her fingers probed her damaged scalp and a whimper escaped her lips.

'Nicola?' came Bianca's anxious voice from behind the bedroom door. It was as if a flame had been lit in Nicolas chest. The nauseating lurch of her stomach kept her from replying; stopped her from staring at the sea of clumps around her toes. But she felt lighter in a way she couldn't understand, as if a piece had suddenly clicked into place.

The scissors thudded against the floor.

'Nico!' Bianca now shouted, her palms striking the door hard. But Nicola's throat had closed around her words, dried of any excuse. The tears flowed faster and her nose began to run.

'I'm coming in!' Bianca declared, scared for the sibling she knew had become unwell.

A horrified gasp and crack of the door hitting plaster greeted Nicola in her desperate state. Her world became a distant blur as warmer hands guided her back upon the the bed and soothed her aching hands. Bianca stared down at her younger sister, her gaze hard.

'What in Hades name have you done to yourself?'

Nicola gulped through the pain and croaked, 'I don't want to be Nicola anymore. I never wanted to be Nicola!'

Bianca's gaze softened as she took in her sisters shaking form, the over sized clothes and dried blood. She gently placed an arm around her siblings shoulder and drew her in, 'then who do you want to be?'

Nicola sniffled, palming her eyes. 'I want to be Nico, just Nico'

The words struck Bianca; she sat strong against the realisation and her mind began to tick over her sisters change in behaviour over the months. 'Nico', she began hesitantly, 'I think I understand now'

Nicola blinked owlishly upon hearing the name. The feeling in her chest grew and she clasped the name tighter to her heart.

'Bianca, can I ask you a favour-'

'-You know you'll always be my favourite sibling'

'I know! But please, I need you to listen'

'-of course-Nico' stammered Bianca, guessing the truth the was to come.

'Can I be your little brother from now on?' Nicola whispered, almost shameful.

The question hung in the air for a matter of seconds before Bianca cried out, her eyes streaming as she smiled reassuringly at her sibling, 'Nicola- Nico, of course you can be my little brother!'

Nico slumped in relief, wrapping his arms around his understanding sister.

'First things first though…I'm cutting your hair from now on! No little brother of mine is walking around half bald without meaning to!' Bianca laughed through her and her brothers tears.


End file.
